SE7EN TIPS FOR NURSING IN PUBLIC by guest blogger Se7en!

We are celebrating World Breastfeeding Week 2010 in style here on Joyful Mama's Place this week! Today's guest blogger is a mom to eight beautiful blessings, and the brains behind the fabulous blog SE7EN - The life and times of a homeschooling mother of se7en + 1! She and her family live in one of the most beautiful parts of Cape Town, and whenever she posts a picture of her children exploring rock pools in the middle of an *ordinary day*, I am green with envy!

Please pop in for a visit to her blog - I guarantee you will leave inspired.

Nursing is an art, and nursing in public is a fine art. With my firstborn it took ages for us to "get it" but once we did I have never looked back. For me it wasn't so much about whether it was legal or not, of course it is, your baby has a right to food. For me it was all about discretion. Now I know moms who have given up on nursing because they didn't want to spend the rest of their baby's life tucked away in a public bathroom, the threat of that was enough motivation for me to "master the art of nursing in public."



Here are se7en tips I wish I had known, the first time round:

1. Look and Learn: I never realized that I hadn't actually seen other mom's nursing until I had a baby of my own and even then you never see brand newborn babies out in the world. The best place to find other nursing moms is at your local La-Leche League Meeting. I wish I had gone to one of their monthly meetings before I had my firstborn and I have to say that when I finally got there, totally desperate, it was the haven of like-minded moms that I was looking for.
2. Practice makes Perfect: This is true for most things. When my firstborn and I finally got nursing right (it doesn't always happen instantly) he was about six weeks old. Before that I could only manage nursing sitting topless on a bed with a bazillion cushions. I was convinced I was housebound forever. Not so... we got better at it really quickly and we managed to nurse sitting on the couch and then in front of friends and eventually out in the world. By twelve weeks I nursed him through my graduation ceremony and no-one sitting around me had any idea... Only that I had a very well-behaved baby!!!
3. You Don't Need Special Equipment: You can buy special nursing shirts, you can use special covers. Frankly I have never had a baby who wanted to nurse under a sheet - ever... and since I have never eaten a meal under a tablecloth I can understand that!!! I also found that a lot of "special nursing" shirts were a whole lot less discreet than I wanted to be. I have always worn baggy t-shirts to nurse in public, my baby lies against my tummy and I lift a corner for them to nurse. Try it with a cushion - nothing is exposed!!! And that's the way I like it thank-you very much!!!
4. Newborns Need Special Mention: Call me uncoordinated but I have always needed two hands to nurse a newborn. They don't automatically latch on and nurse discreetly for hours. They do sputter and gag and very often battle to get it right... their mouths are tiny and their heads flail. The peaceful vision that one sees in magazines isn't always the reality!!! Nursing takes practice for moms and their babies... the babies you see out in the world are generally not newborns, they are slightly older and the mother and babe have found their rhythm. In the great comparative study we call mothering make sure you compare yourself to moms with babes the same age as yours!!! It is all very well to think you can't do this when you have a tiny two week old in your arms and you are looking at a mom with a three month old... be yourself and don't compare it will stand you in good stead!!!
5. Don't Wait: When your baby starts to make hungry noises, just settle down and nurse - trust me on this. When you are out in public everyone will notice a screaming hungry baby but no-one will notice a contented baby snuggled in its mother's lap. In fact there are many times when people haven't noticed that I was nursing and came to say what a sweet quiet baby I have!!!
6. Just Nurse: Don't even think about trying to express milk and give your baby a bottle when you are out. Initially, getting out is stressful enough without trying to fill bottles for the great event. Your milk is just where it should be for when your baby needs it. When you have a newborn I really recommend that you focus on getting the supply and demand balance of breastfeeding right before you try and introduce bottles. And seriously, the expression "Don't cry over spilt milk" was coined specifically with new mothers in mind. When you have a baby who nurses two hourly and then takes an hour to nurse you really don't want to be trying to master expresing milk at the same time. Really if you spend all your free time trying to express and after ages you have 15 ml of milk in a jar and you spill a drop of it - trust me you will cry!!! Wait till your baby is bigger, there is time!!!
7. It Isn't Just Food: Trust me on this, when you are nursing an older baby, and since the World Health Organization recommends nursing at least until the age of two, dare I say a toddler. Sometimes they just need a little comfort to get through a tricky situation... We traveled overseas in a crowd with a toddler and when he began to melt down at nap time we quickly nursed. A toddler is a very efficient nursing machine and can be done in seconds compared to a newborn who takes hours. He would nurse quickly and seconds later he would be napping or just content. I am always surprised that people don't mind seeing a child walking around with a pacifier in their mouths but might disapprove of nursing. We are generally discreet enough that folks don't know we are actually nursing.
and the Se7en + 1th thing:
8. Your Baby has Rights: People have no problem with older children drinking bottles in public or using pacifiers to keep them content. Don't be put off nursing your child when they need to nurse. When your baby is a couple of months old and everything distracts them it is often easier to take them somewhere quiet to nurse them. But don't feel compelled to. I have never had some one come up to me and say "You may not nurse here..." but I have had people not like me nursing out. It is not in my nature to be terribly confrontational I just sort of stare into space and they generally just wander on!!! I have seen two women being told to move on in a shopping mall, they were from the local township and were seeking air-conditioned refuge for their babies in the heat of summer... I joined them on the bench and nursed my babe... no-one came near any of us!!! I guess a mother with eight trailing children may be a little bit intimidating!!!

I say amen to that! And I end off this inspiring post with another badge from http://www.lactivist.co.uk/ Enjoy!

WHY BREASTFEED by guest blogger Georgia from Love and Lollipops

Welcome to my good friend Georgia from Love and Lollipops!

Georgia and I actually met at a La Leche League meeting about a year ago. I took her card because I was interested in some of her photo stickers, and finally got around to calling her about it at the beginning of this year. She came to drop off some vouchers for me to include in the goodie bags for one of my Mom's Workshops, and as we stood chatting in my driveway on the way out, we discovered that we shared a lot of passions and pleasures! A week or so later we visited again, and the rest is history!

Georgia is a psychologist, photographer and mom of two charming boys, and is stillbreastfeeding her youngest. Thanks for the contribution, Georgia!

{Image credit: The cute cow image I used in this post comes courtesy of Lisa from http://www.lactivist.co.uk/ It is one of a series of badges she's created in support of breastfeeding moms and I could not wipe the grin off my face as I scrolled down to look at all her designs. Please visit her site, and make sure you check out her T-shirts, too! My favourite is the 'Care Intructions Label' for babies!)

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Georgia and her sweet little boy S!

    Hi, I’m Georgia from Love and Lollipops and I am writing about why you should breastfeed your baby. This is a HUGE topic and I’m going to give you just a few fantastic reasons to breastfeed. I think all moms hear about how “Breastfeeding is Best” but are not always aware of the facts behind this statement. I also think that knowing why you are choosing to breastfeed, can really help keep you motivated during the inevitable rocky patches.

  Let’s have a look at some wonderful health benefits that breastfeeding provides for you and your baby. Breast milk is perfectly designed for babies and provides all your baby’s nutritional requirements in exactly the right proportions. This fact always amazes me: Breast milk is alive and dynamic and it changes in composition during a feed and during the day to match your baby’s nutritional needs! Breast milk (human milk) is also more easily digested than infant formula, which is made from cow’s milk or other products.

     Breast milk provides antibodies (and more), which help boost baby’s immune system and prevent illness. Research has shown that breastfed babies have fewer illnesses and allergies, including a reduced risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, childhood cancer and diabetes. In fact, the effects on the immune system continue throughout life. Moms benefit too, with reduced risk of osteoporosis, breast and ovarian cancer.

     Brain development is essential during your baby’s first year. Breast milk comes up tops for the optimal development of your baby’s brain and nervous system. For example, breast milk contains higher concentrations of DHA and ARA (specific types of fat) than any brand of formula and these higher levels are associated with better visual and cognitive development. Research has shown that breastfed babies score higher on intelligence tests than formula-fed babies!

     But breastfeeding is not only about mom and baby’s physical and cognitive health, there are also wonderful emotional benefits. A breastfeeding Mom is in a different hormonal state to a non-breastfeeding one. Nursing moms have increased levels of the hormones oxytoxin and prolactin. These hormones are shown to stimulate nurturing, as well as feelings of well-being. Breastfeeding also provides a baby with comfort and security and they usually find immediate calm when they can suckle. Skin-to-skin contact (which is optimal during breastfeeding) produces a constant, elevated level of oxytocin in the baby, which in turn provides a valuable reduction in the baby’s stress-hormone responses.

   One last happy benefit is that breastfeeding nappies are less offensive than formula fed ones, which can have a very strong odour!

    And one last bit of research is that a mom's knowledge about breastfeeding is significantly linked to her decision to breastfeed and I would go on to say, her decision to persist with breastfeeding when she is confronted with difficulties.. So, in light of that, I hope that this small taste of why breastfeeding is best will convince you to research this topic more ... and keep reading this series of breastfeeding posts here at Joyful Mama's Place!

References:
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (La Leche League International) This book is essential reading for any breastfeeding mother. South African readers can order it from your local LLL leader - click here for contact information -  while international readers can order directly from the LLL website - click here.
Position Paper on Infant feeding (International Lactation Consultant Association)
Breastfeeding Does Make a Difference (La Leche League International Article)

Celebrating International Breastfeeding week, Joyful Mama Style!

Here is how it started: My younger sister - who also happens to be one of the greatest fans of my blog! -  is expecting her firstborn in October, and during a phone conversation last week she asked if I would consider doing some blog posts about things like To Dummy or Not To Dummy, How to Introduce Solids, etc.  It doesn't take much to inspire me, and since breastfeeding is a topic that is soooo close to my little heart {literally! :-)}, I decided to do a series of posts on that.

Now, once I get inspired, I need to let it overflow or I explode, so I called my good friend Georgia to see what she thought about contributing to my Very Exciting Little Project. Being a great friend and nursing mother herself, she needed no persuasion to jump on the band wagon, and then said she vaguely remembered someone mentioning that World Breastfeeding Week was coming up, and wouldn't it be perfect if we could publish our posts to coincide with that?! Well...as it turns out...

1 - 7 August 2010

is

World Breastfeeding Week!

So, for the rest of this week you can look forward to inspiring, humorous, practical posts on

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding!

(Yes, that's the name of the wonderful book by La Leche League, but it is so perfect, I couldn't resist using it as the title for these posts, too!) Some wonderful breastfeeding friends will contribute guest posts on the subject, and stay tuned, because there's a giveaway due by the end of the week!

If you are pregnant or a new mommy, I hope you find some good advice here. If you are a soon-to-be second time mommy who didn't have breastfeeding success with your first child, may these articles encourage you to try again, and provide you with better information this time around about where to find the right support. And lastly, if you are a seasoned breastfeeding mom, just enjoy, and I would LOVE to hear your favourite breastfeeding stories, too!

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I mentioned that the articles would be practical and so on, but since I have dips on the first one, I hope you will allow me a sentimental trip down memory lane, as I recall my first experiences with breastfeeding..

Being the eldest of four daughters, I have the priviledge of remembering when all three my younger sisters were born. The memories of the first two's births are well remembered probably mostly because of the great presents I was given on those occassions (a huge pink Mama Teddy Bear holding a matching baby bear rang in my first sister's birth, and when the second one arrived, my parents gave us two older ones a beautiful, life-size baby doll each. We instantly turned into little mothers, changing our babies whenever our baby sister was changed, and 'breastfeeding' them whenever she was due for a top-up!) I can't remember if we got any gifts when our youngest sister was born. I am sure my mom would have given us something, but everything else paled in comparison to that moment when the nurse pushed that tiny little girl out of the theatre for us to meet. I was ten years old, and my dad had taken us out of school for the first few periods so we could be at the hospital for my sister's Cesearean birth. We were pacing the hall, just like in the movies, giddy with anticipation about whether we were getting a baby brother or sister! Back at school, my teacher and class mates were also quite excited and cheered when I burst through the door with the announcement that we were now FOUR GIRLS in the family!

I have no recollection of babies crying at night, or my mom looking haggard after sleepless nights. But I do have gentle memories of Mom leaning back against the pillows on her bed, the soft glow of a small bedside lamp, and a nursing baby gently suckling herself to sleep at Mom's breast. I was therefore very much surprised, just before my own daughter's birth, to learn that Mom only breastfed us all until we were three months old, and then switched to bottles and cow's milk. She says she just didn't like breastfeeding.

It was about three weeks before Sweetpea's birth, and I was really amazed about how much this 'news' affected me. I guess it is slightly overdue to discover that your mother isn't perfect when you are 30 years old, but I was really hurt by this. I have read so much about the importance of breastfeeding, and I had such beautiful, comforting memories of Mom feeding my sisters! How could she not have liked it?! And what did that say about me and my prospects as a future nursing mother?

By this time I had read a lot about breastfeeding and my husband and I was of one accord that there was no other option for our children. I had head knowledge, but for the first time I started to wonder whether I would be able to actually do it...

The story of my daughter's birth will wait for another time, but suffice it to say that I ended up having an unscheduled epidural Cesearean. And for as long as I live, I will never forget the moment they laid that sweet little girl on my chest, huge, suprised eyes and a shock of pitch black hair. I cried the entire time I spent in the recovery room, because everthing in me was yearning for that baby, to hold her and kiss her and drink in her beauty (I am crying now. Will try not to splash tears on keyboard for fear of electrocution).

My sweet little angel, age 9 months.

And the moment I was wheeled into my room and my husband handed me our little girl, my world changed forever. I could not take my eyes off of her -she was so perfect. And instinct took over and I lifted my hospital gown and for a moment I was not sure what to do next. But then an image flashed in my memory of a video I had seen on a website - it could have been the World Health Organisation, or La Leche League - I can't recall. But I immediately knew what to do: I craddled my daughter in my left arm, put my right hand behind her head, and when she rooted at the touch of my nipple against her cheek, I firmly pressed her to my breast, making sure she had as much as possible of it in her small mouth. And that, my dears, was that: the beginning of a beautiful breastfeeding partnership that lasted for 15 months.

I weaned Sweetpea when I was almost six months pregnant with her little brother. He took to the breast with the same ease as his sister before him, and we are still happily breastfeeding at present (he turned one a couple of weeks ago). Although I never had any problems with Sweetpea, I did take a decidedly different approach with Arrow Boy:

Stealing a kiss from Prince Charming, when he was 7 months old.

* By the time he arrived, I had been to a few La Leche League meetings and understood the importance of demand feeding so much better, so I chucked the books that prescribed a four hourly schedule!

* Those same books had told me never to nurse a baby to sleep, since it becomes a bad habit (WHAT??!!) Well, I had done my share of trying to get a fussy little one to sleep without milk, and life is just too short to spend your nights listening to the sad wailing of your little one needing the comfort of your breast, so Arrow was fed whenever he was sad or restless at night, and this had such a comforting effect on him, that he very quickly turned into a baby who wakes up once a night max!

* I am also in no hurry to wean him befor he is ready. And who knows, if God chooses to bless us with another bundle of joy befor then, I may just try tandem feeding!!

That's it folks  - I am signing off to help a little thirsty customer to the milky bar: perfectly balanced, super-nutritious, warm milkies on tap, twenty four hours a day! Happy feeding! 

Two simple ribbon toys

Two quick little projects you can whip up after the little ones are in bed tonight!

My sister made this sensory ribbon for Sweetpea for Christmas 2008. She loved it and now it keeps ArrowBoy entertained during little trips in the car. Both my children familiarize themselves with objects by mouthing it, so this has been thoroughly chewed on over the past year and a half! Make sure you sew your buttons on securely!

Sweetpea insists on dressing herself, but battles with buttons, so I made her this button snake.

I sewed the very bottom felt square to the end of the ribbon with a zigzag stitch- hope you can see it in the photo below..

Then I just cut slits in little squares of felt and she can now practice 'buttoning' them onto the ribbon. Nice quiet little activity, perfect for church!

Mini paintings

I was inspired by a recent post by The Artful parent to do some

mini paintings

with Sweetpea.

We had SO much fun!!

I couldn't resist making some mini paintings of my own...quick and non-intimidating creative outlet for a sometimes slightly frazzled mom!

We'll turn these into gift tags for Daddy's birthday, I think!
To see the inspiration for these, visit The Artful Parent - she has the most amazing ideas to stimulate your child's creativity!

My son's first birthday

I would like to thank my friend Georgia from Love and Lollipops for the beautiful photographs she took of our party! You can view more of her work on her blog - click on the link above.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

We invited four little friends and I set up our party table in the living room.

The party favours are pinned to the front of the tablecloth, and the polka dots you see on the floor is a vinyl tablecloth which I stuck to the carpet with maskig tape so little people (read "their mothers") wouldn't have to worry about spilling juice.

Some of the goodies on offer:

And the birthday cake! I baked a double layer chocolate cake using my all-time favourite recipe, and then decorated it with lots of yellow butter icing, a cheerful paper rosette and mini Smarties. I had tons of help - Sweetpea's job was taste testing two mini Smarties for every one that I stuck on, and ArrowBoy was perched on my hip for moral support during the entire operation. Yes, I decorated it with one hand! (It was just before supper time last night and he just would not be left on the floor while all the action was going on at counter-top!) 

We served freshly made popcorn in ducky paper cups - I just glued on some googly eyes and a cardboard beak. Isn't he a cheery little fellow?! The best part was having Sweetpea on her stepstool at the stove while the corn was popping - she shrieked with delight!

We had pretty polka dot party hats. Arrow's had a little No.1 label to make him feel extra special!

I handstitched this name banner from felt. I am redoing his bedroom in bright, cheerful colours, and the banner will get a special place above his bed. I copied the little animals from a website which I love, and though I am always happy to support businesses selling good quality handmade goods, the exchange rate just puts their wares way out of our league, so I decided to make it myself.

ArrowBoy was a little overwhelmed and very surprised  when we started singing the birthday song...

Someone recently remarked that Arrow reminds her of Noddy, so my youngest sister gave him a small Noddy doll and this gorgeous Mr Plod, which he hugged close all afternoon!

Each little guest also received a felt friend sewn onto a felt version of their initials, with a bright little ribbon so they can hang it on the door!

We couldn't have asked for a more perfect day and the children loved being out in the sunshine!

A few battle-weary troops...naptimes were not far off...

When I found out that I was pregnant with Arrow, my husband and I unanimously agreed that we could not be bothered with obstetricians and the whole medical system again. Although I gave birth to Sweetpea in a beautiful, state-of-the-art private hospital, we were left disillusioned with the way things are done in this country when it comes to birth choices. Although we were very clear about our choices regarding the birth, we felt that our wishes were bulldozed, and I ended up having an emergency C-section. It seems that most gynaes talk mothers into C-sections even fairly early on in their pregnancies, since it can be conveniently scheduled...I have enough to say on this topic to cover pages of posts, but I will constrain myself at this point.

Anyway,  I started researching homebirths, and specifically VBAC's (vaginal birth after cesearean) and we were very soon sold on the idea of having a midwife-assited water birth in our home. I read and researched and prepared myself physically and spiritually for what was going to be the most beautiful, peaceful home-birthing experience. I kept a special journal in which I recorder all my prayers about the birth, and shared with my unborn child my longing to hold him in my arms.

The birth pool arrived two weeks befor my due date and I was SO excited!

Then, finally, on the night of 19 July last year my contractions started. I was thrilled and excited and yet also so peacefully contented with the fact that our baby was going to be born in the comfort and protection of our home.

I will spare you the details about the 36 hours of labour and just cut to the part where, by 12 noon on 21 July, my husband, midwife and I all agreed that it would be best to call the gynaecologist. (He was really sweet about the whole thing when I told him about our home birthing plans and graciously offered to be on stand-by should we need him). Long story short, our precious son was delivered via emergency C-section an hour later - healthy, gorgeous and completely unawares of all the drama that came before. The doctor found that my pelvis opening is simply too narrow to let through even the smallest little baby.

As much as I was COMPLETELY SMITTEN with my little boy, my heart was also broken about the dream that had shattered: I knew that all subsequent births would now have to be C-sections. I could not understand it - I had prayed so many times asking God to give me a clear answer as to His will for the birth, and was so certain that the home-birth was what He wanted for me. I really struggled with some serious trust issues for a month or so after Arrow's birth. I just could not get myself to pray., and when I tried I broke down in hopeless tears, feeling that God was not going to listen to me anyway.

But true to His Word he never left nor forsoke me. Instead He gently guided me back to a place where I could find rest in the knowledge of His love and the assurance that He is in control and that all things work together for those who trust in Him. I am still sad sometimes when I think of just how much I had wanted to have natural birth at home. But looking back, I am immensely grateful that He had given me the opportunity to labour - that although I didn't actually have a natural birth, I do know what it is to be in labour, and to breathe through those contractions, and to know just how painful they are, and about the almost hilarious 'normality' of those moments between conractions! And I also know today that had I been able to have the birth I dreamt about, I would probably have become proud, even scornful of mothers who chose C-sections. God was gracious and used that birthing experience to teach me about being gracious to other mothers; to remain humble and trust in Him alone; to not judge others for their choices., and to be grateful for good midwifes and doctors and nurses.

Today, one year later, I look at my precious son and my heart rejoices in the goodness of my God.

A lovingly hand-made birthday gift for our big boy!

The heater is turned on to hot in the middle of a sunny winter's day...bedlamps are burning at 12h00 noon...the soup I thought was gently simmering on the stove is bubbling ferociously...the washing machine is the middle of the long cycle - without any clothes... yes, the ArrowBoy has come of age: The Pressing Buttons Age, that is., and not a single switch or latch or handle or button that is within the reach of this tiny tot, is left alone for very long!

So it didn't take much effort to come up with an idea for a birthday gift: it had to have buttons and other super cool things to keep tiny little fingers *legitimately* occupied! I really don't like the so-called interactive busy boards that most toy shops sell, because although they light up spectacularly and make plenty of noise, the child can't see WHY they do. I have said it before: if you want to give a child something that makes a noise, give him a bell. Then he can see where the sound comes from.

A trip to the hardware store for latches and things, and a quick look around the garage for off-cuts of wood, and we were all set. I painted and planned, and the Dad sawed and drilled and glued!

And this is what our darling boy woke up to on this morning of his

first birthday!

A little more detail..

We had tons of fun making this, and as I am typing this, my two little bean sprouts are busily occupied opening latches and fitting the key into those key holes - it is a hit!